So, How Did You Two Meet?

People are always looking for new ways to meet members of the opposite sex, and the ways are boundless!!  Nowadays we have an endless supply of on-line sites that will hook us up with our soul mate for only a small fee.  I guess those work or they wouldn’t be so successful, but it is not something I would recommend to anyone.  As all my faithful readers are aware, I am decidedly “old school”.  So, from the old school, here are a few creative ways for meeting someone to whom you feel an attraction. 

I’m going to stay away from the old saws like “Do you come here often?”, “Can I buy you a drink?”, or  “You look a lot like my next boy/girlfriend!”,  because, face it guys and gals, these are really lame!!  Nope, I am going to concentrate on the un-traditional and quite creative approaches that, maybe, she/he hasn’t heard yet. 

A woman just told me that she met a guy because he bumped into her a couple of times as they were walking and then turned to apologise.  She isn’t sure if the bumping was intentional and frankly doesn’t care.  She met a nice guy and they hit it off!  If you try this approach, be careful!  Knocking someone on their butt is NOT going to turn out well.

You can take that one to the next level if you want, and gently tap bumpers with that sexy someone in a parking lot. Again, be careful as putting a big scratch on someone’s prized ride is not apt to get you a date but will probably get your insurance rates raised!

I don’t know if any men have ever tried this, but for the ladies, it is tried and true – drop something!  I doubt that many women carry hankies anymore, what with “the vapors” being a thing of the past, but drop a book, letter, bag, ball or whatever and any men in the vicinity will fall all over each other trying to be the one to pick it up for you.  It’s like opening jars, we just can’t resist helping a “damsel in distress.”   This will probably work for men, too, if you venture to try it.   After all, this is the age of women’s lib, ladies asking men for dates and equality of the sexes.

“Accidentally” leave a business card.  Don’t just hand it to someone or toss it on their table because that is just too self-centered and presumptuous.  Find a way to creatively “drop” it where the object of your desire can’t help but see it. For instance, at a restaurant or bar, if someone working there trips your trigger, leave it on the table with a note on the back for someone else.  Like “Fred, call me!” if you are a guy seeking a girl or “Linda, don’t forget the meeting!” if you are a gal after a guy. Guys don’t use a girl’s name and girls don’t use a guy’s or the person you are trying to attract  may think you are attached… off the market.   If they call you, it worked. If they don’t, you are only out a business card.

Be mannerly!  Especially you men!  My research has shown that women like men with manners.  Hold a door. Let her go first in the checkout line.  Take the shopping cart to the cart corral for her. Give her your seat!  Carry something heavy.  Get something off the high shelf.  And if she protests, simply tell her that your mother would never forgive you if you DIDN”T do it! 

And, finally, there is always the direct approach – stick out your hand and introduce yourself.  If you can get some eye contact first and your smile begats a smile from him/her, then walk right over and say “Hi, my name is Bob and I look a lot like your next boyfriend!”

First Date Tips For Men

 

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First impressions are important, so it would behoove all men to be on their best behavior when embarking on a first date.  Here are a few tips to help ensure that the first date isn’t also the last date.

  1. Be On Time!  This is especially important if you are meeting her at a public place.  If so, BE THERE EARLY!  Nothing is more annoying to a woman than being forced to stand there alone while waiting for a date. It puts her in the position of possibly having to fend off unwanted advances by guys who think she is alone. If you are there early, you will not be facing the same thing and she will be impressed with you when she arrives.  That’s a good start.
  2. Take her to a nice place and pay for everything.  One of my lady friends, Susan, told me of a first date when, after dinner they went to a bar.  Her date said, “I’ll buy the beer, you buy the shots.” He didn’t get a second date. On subsequent dates, involve her in the planning and if she offers to pay or to share the cost, let her.  Women feel more empowered now than at any time in history so if she wants to express that, allowing her to do so will tell her that you are not intimidated by strong, independent women. (Personally speaking, they are my favorites!)
  3. Mind your manners!  Bad manners at dinner are a sure way to turn a woman off, or turn her stomach.  Eat slowly, chew your food, don’t talk with your mouth full.  You know, all the things your mother has tried to teach you for decades.  Linda told me of a guy who wore his ball cap during the entire meal.  If he took her to a place where that was appropriate, then he took her to a fast food restaurant which is NOT good for a first date.  If they were at a place where wearing the cap was NOT appropriate, then he has declared loud and clear that he has no grasp of decorum.  Guess what, no second date with Linda.
  4. Do Not, Under Any Circumstances, talk about any of your ex’s!  There is only one exception and that is when she specifically asks you about them, which she probably will not.  But in the rare occasion when she does, you speak in glowing terms and do nothing but praise them.  Dissing ex’s is an absolute no-no!   Cathie told me of a first date when the guy talked on and on about how all of his ex’s were “psycho”.  Her conclusion?  If they were ALL psycho, maybe it was more his issue that theirs.  Yep, you guessed it, no second date.
  5. Finally, and this is more important than you may realize, guys, pick up the phone and call her the next day!  It won’t take long and she will appreciate it immensely.  Just give her a call and thank her for the nice time.   This is so very vital to women, fellows, and you should not underestimate the importance of it.  It’s easy, it’s quick and you can make good use of your drive time as well as a good first impression.