Over The Top or Just Really Romantic?

Just heard a romance story and I’m not sure how to take it. Is this guy just the most romantic man in the world or does he just have WAY too much time on his hands?


Seems this couple have been together four years and, to celebrate the anniversary, the guy buys 101 small boxes (they come flat and have to be folded into a box!! That’s 101 times he had to put a box together!!) and into each one he puts a piece of paper upon which he has written one of the “101 Reasons I Love You.” (Once again, that is 101 times he has to write something different on a small piece of paper, fold it, and put it in a box!)
Now folks, I love my wife dearly, with all my heart, but I’m not sure I could come up with 101 reasons!! I COULD come up with 101 things about her or things that she does that I love, but I’m not sure that is the same thing.  But maybe it is, because that seems to be what this guy wrote on the notes.
The lady did not open them all at once – 101 small boxes at one time? That could get boring! Instead, she is opening them a few at a time over several days. Or weeks, maybe. That seems like a good plan to me as it prolongs the romantic moment for as long as she has unopened boxes.
I’m really on the fence, here.  Part of me thinks it is romantic, but a BIGGER part of me thinks it is just kind of silly.  Soooooo,  I want to know what YOU think!! Was this a truly fantastic romantic gesture? Or was it just over the top lame?  All comments welcome!!  And thanks!!

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Let The Guy Do What He Loves!!

Today I am going to re-cycle the first post I ever made on this blog.  Time hasn’t diminished the story or the statement so I think it is still relevant to today’s audience.  Enjoy!!  Tommy

When I was in my early teens, I remember when our next door neighbor, Linda, was complaining to my mother about how much time her husband spent working on his race car and how he spent every Saturday night at the local drag strip racing it. Linda felt like Russ should be spending that time with her. She wanted him to fuss over her the way he fussed over his car. Being so young, I had no idea if Russ was paying enough attention to his wife, and I still don’t. I did know that Russ was fanatic about his car and had even built a bigger garage than the one that came attached to the house so he would have more room for the car and all the tools he needed to work on it. My mother didn’t know if he was giving Linda the proper attention either, I am guessing, because her advice to Linda did not address that issue at all. Mom was simple and straight forward with our neighbor as she said “Linda, Russ LOVES to work on and race his car. It makes him happy and he truly enjoys it. You need to realize that and stop complaining to him about it.” The incredulous look on Linda’s face I can still see today. She had fully expected my mom to agree with her that Russ should sell the car and spend more time with her. Mom continued “At least you know where he is, Linda. And you know he is doing something he loves. That beats NOT knowing where he is or what he is doing.” I don’t remember any more of the conversation. I may have become bored and gone out to play ball or ride my bike. But I do remember that, about a week later, Linda was again in our kitchen talking to mom when I heard her say “Midge, I have thought a lot about what you said last week about Russ and his car and I have decided that you are right! He DOES love working on and racing that car and I should let him do what he loves.”

At the time, I did not realize how smart my mother’s advice had been nor how insightful my mother was about men.  It was really just a way of life at our house that my dad hunted and fished and went to the sprint car races on ocassion and spent a lot of time restoring his old “32 Ford Coupe because those are the things he loved to do and mom never complained about any of it. In retrospect, I understand why my parents stayed together until death did them part, because they understood that they both enjoyed things the other did not and they never tried to deny one another the chance to do those things.
As a result, I have never understood why women would tell their man that they “couldn’t” play golf, go fishing, go to a baseball game or any thing else that he wanted to do. After all, she is his wife, not his mom. Women need to realize that by trying to deny a man something he loves, she is just driving him away from HER, not away from the activity he enjoys. When we get married, we are not giving up our individuality, we are just adding someone we love to the equation. As I look back at my life, I realize just how much my mother and father taught me about relationships without even trying. They just set a wonderful example that I have emulated without even knowing it.

 I think Kahil Gibran said it best “Stand together, but not too near together, for the oak and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

OUT OF THE BLUE

You have all heard the stories about someone you know who found love, found a boy/girlfriend, or found a soul mate when they were not looking for one.  A lot of you can testify about it happening first hand.   At some time in our life, we have all given up temporarily on relationships for whatever reason (bad ending to the last one,  a succession of losers has turned us off to the opposite sex,  just don’t want another broken heart any time soon)  and turned our attention, our focus and our energy toward another aspect of life, usually work.  Things go along swimmingly for a while, our hard work is beginning to pay off, we are reveling in our independence, enjoying being single, when all of a sudden

                           WHAM!!!

 

IT HITS US LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!!  All of a sudden we find our heart racing!  Our palms sweaty! Our focus blurred!  No, NOT blurred, just completely and involuntarily re-focused from its former location to this person we have just met! That’s right, just met!  We date. We spend time together. We spend LOTS of time together. We can’t stop thinking about him/her! We can’t get enough of him/her! We can’t keep our hands off of him/her!! We HATE being apart from him/her! And it just keeps getting worse!

 AND IT IS GREAT!! IT IS FANTASTIC!! IT IS SCRUMPTIOUS, LUSCIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELIGHTFUL, DECADENT FUN!!!

And we all deserve it! More than once in our lives, we deserve it!  We have no idea how it happens, only that it does. As a new friend of mine just so lyrically put it, “it is as if I was a puzzle with a missing piece and the missing piece just fell into place.”  And we find ourselves gushing about him/her so much that our friends just smile and nod their heads knowingly, because they, too, have been through this before.

We have no idea how long this is going to last.  A few months.  A few years.   If we are one of the truly lucky ones, it will last a lifetime. But whatever the duration, we must enjoy every single moment and commit them to memory.  For if it does not last forever, it will still be a wonderful part of our life, a part we will carry with us forever. A part that, for better or worse, will help to shape us into that person we will ultimately become.  A part that we will look back on fondly and smile that deliciously devilish smile as we remember what a great time it was and how much fun we had and how much we learned about ourselves.

But if it does end, do we dive back into the dating pool hoping to catch lightening in a bottle again?  Some of us will dive back in and we will enjoy it, just as we did before.  But if it gets old again, and you decide again to opt out for a while, just don’t be surprised if one day, when you are least expecting it, that thunderbolt blindsides you again!!  As our Mother’s always told us, “you usually find love when you are NOT looking for it!”

World’s Best Husband?

While gathering information for a book, I had the chance to interview a friend who I am happily getting to know a lot better.  I’ll call her Pat.  Pat is married to, seemingly, the best husband in the world. I’ll call him Jack.  Here are some of the things Pat has told me about her husband and how he treats her:

Pat loves olives but Jack HATES them. (That’s Pat’s word!)  However, when he goes to the store, Jack always brings home olives for her.

Pat LOVES cherry Jelly Bellies and about once a month, Jack brings home a bag for her.

Jack does not drink coffee.  However, he purchased one of those super-duper coffee makers and every morning makes her a latte before he goes to work. Pat emphasized – “Every Single Morning!”

Pat has a favorite soap and body cream that is sold in only two stores in her home area. One of the stores is near where Jack works and every once in a while he will surprise her with a fresh supply.

I’m going to let Pat tell you about these last two:

                “I’ve had a cast on my foot about 75% of the time during the last two years.  Jack would help me in the shower and wash my hair for me.  He also would make lunch for me before he went to work, so I wouldn’t have to stand up. He came home, cooked dinner, did the dishes, and did the laundry.  He never complained one time.  He has been a true saint during this really difficult time.”

            “On the Valentine’s Day before our wedding (which was in April), I came home from work and the dining room table was set with two place settings from the china, crystal, and silver that we registered for.  It was beautiful, and it just took my breath away.  Candles were on the table, and he had cooked dinner.  It was the most romantic thing I had ever experienced.  To this very day, when I tell women this story, half of them get tears in their eyes.   I get teary eyed when I think of it.  It was an amazingly special, sweet, thoughtful, and beautiful thing to do.”

Now here’s the best part, men!  What Jack does is not that difficult for anyone we just have to be thoughtful and caring and DO IT!  Jack may be the world’s best husband because he IS thoughtful and caring by nature so it all comes naturally for him.  If it doesn’t come naturally for you, then you need to make an effort to BE more thoughtful and caring.  Use Jack’s examples and find something you can do for your wife or girlfriend that will make her tell her friends what a great husband/boyfriend she has. Trust me on this one, your relationship will dramatically improve!!

3 Endearing Things Men Can Do For Women – Installment Two

One of my most popular blogs was “Five Endearing Things Men Can Do For Women”, so I have decided to post another one, albeit a little shorter! The one thing men have to keep in mind is that the effects of these fun, little things wear off after a while and you need to keep reassuring that beautiful and sexy lady of yours just how wonderful she is and just how much you think about her every day.  And really, when you get right down to it, when you do any of these or any that you come up with on your own (please share!!!!) all you are saying is that you were thinking of her and wanted to do something nice. Or, in shorter terms, that you LOVE her!

So here we go, three more little acts of love and affection that will make your woman smile!

  1. Leave her a note.  It doesn’t have to be long or poetic or mushy.  In fact, it SHOULD be short and sweet and to the point.  The fun part is deciding where to leave it – on the steering wheel of her car, in her favorite coffee cup, inside the ground coffee so she finds it when she starts to scoop, in her panty drawer, in her briefcase so she finds it at work, or a myriad of other spots.  What is also great about this is that you can repeat this as long as you hide it in a different place each time.  And each time she finds a note in a different spot from last time, it just gets more and more endearing. More and more cute. Who says being a one-trick pony is a bad thing?
  2. When you are out and about, especially in the morning, stop at a coffee shop and bring home her favorite.  My wife loves the “skinny vanilla latte” from Starbucks so I stop often for her. (She does the same and brings me my Chai latte)  But, and this is IMPORTANT, make sure you know exactly how she likes her coffee.  If you bring home caramel when she likes mocha you will be sending a real bad message – which is that you don’t know her as well as you should or that you just don’t pay the attention that you should.  So if you aren’t sure, be very observant the next time you both visit the coffee shop and commit her order to memory. Better yet, write it down. 
  3. Wash her car! This will be even more special to her if she is a woman who “loves” her car.  So if she drives a Jag or a Mustang convertible this will REALLY get you brownie points! But even if she just views it as transportation, trust me, she will appreciate it when you clean it up for her.

So try these things, guys.  Ladies, feel free to forward this link to any man you think might benefit. And I was serious up at the top, if you have some endearing acts that you love, please let me know in the comment section.  I may end up writing a book!!

I Love You Just The Way You Are

me and bearcat cheerleadersAs I was perusing my favorite relationship sites this morning, I kept bumping into a common theme – women who are not happy with their bodies, OR women who think their men are not happy with their bodies.  Well ladies, let me take you on a journey to The World According To Tommy! 

The first and foremost Tenet of Truth in this world is that women are WAY too hard on themselves when it comes to their looks.  All women have at least one body part that they would like to change.  A lot of them “hate” their hair. Most of them, even those with single digit dress sizes, think they are too heavy.  Although they can see it in other women, many women have a hard time seeing themselves as pretty, beautiful, sexy or hot. (Just watch a few episodes of What Not To Wear if you don’t believe me!)  I doubt that there is a single woman who grew up and did NOT have self-body issues.  So, how do we overcome this in Tommy’s World? Men!!

The second and maybe most important Tenet of Truth in The World According to Tommy is that ALL women are attractive and men should keep telling them about it in no uncertain terms!  Just like all women have a body part they would like to change, they also have at least one that makes them stand out from the crowd.  She may have great hair, wonderful skin, fantastic eyes, great boobs, a dynamite ass, a gorgeous face, legs to-die-for, a smile that “lights up the room”, or curves that make men salivate!  Whatever it is, it is probably what attracted her man to her in the first place.  So,… Men,…. If you saw it before, it is still there and you need to keep telling her about it!!  If she has “the breasts of a Greek Goddess”, tell her and tell her often!  If she is beautiful when she rolls out of bed in the morning, tell her and tell her often!! (And then add, “Other women would be so jealous if they knew”).  If you realize how lucky you are to have her, and, trust me, you are, tell her and tell her often!!!

Tommy loves women and every woman I have ever been associated with, be it friendship or romance, has been either beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, pretty, adorable, or cute and I never hesitated to remind them of it.  And in my world, The World According To Tommy, the same is true of all men.

If men only realized the benefits of living in my world, they would ALL move in today!!

First Date Tips For Men

 

Waterfall

 

 

First impressions are important, so it would behoove all men to be on their best behavior when embarking on a first date.  Here are a few tips to help ensure that the first date isn’t also the last date.

  1. Be On Time!  This is especially important if you are meeting her at a public place.  If so, BE THERE EARLY!  Nothing is more annoying to a woman than being forced to stand there alone while waiting for a date. It puts her in the position of possibly having to fend off unwanted advances by guys who think she is alone. If you are there early, you will not be facing the same thing and she will be impressed with you when she arrives.  That’s a good start.
  2. Take her to a nice place and pay for everything.  One of my lady friends, Susan, told me of a first date when, after dinner they went to a bar.  Her date said, “I’ll buy the beer, you buy the shots.” He didn’t get a second date. On subsequent dates, involve her in the planning and if she offers to pay or to share the cost, let her.  Women feel more empowered now than at any time in history so if she wants to express that, allowing her to do so will tell her that you are not intimidated by strong, independent women. (Personally speaking, they are my favorites!)
  3. Mind your manners!  Bad manners at dinner are a sure way to turn a woman off, or turn her stomach.  Eat slowly, chew your food, don’t talk with your mouth full.  You know, all the things your mother has tried to teach you for decades.  Linda told me of a guy who wore his ball cap during the entire meal.  If he took her to a place where that was appropriate, then he took her to a fast food restaurant which is NOT good for a first date.  If they were at a place where wearing the cap was NOT appropriate, then he has declared loud and clear that he has no grasp of decorum.  Guess what, no second date with Linda.
  4. Do Not, Under Any Circumstances, talk about any of your ex’s!  There is only one exception and that is when she specifically asks you about them, which she probably will not.  But in the rare occasion when she does, you speak in glowing terms and do nothing but praise them.  Dissing ex’s is an absolute no-no!   Cathie told me of a first date when the guy talked on and on about how all of his ex’s were “psycho”.  Her conclusion?  If they were ALL psycho, maybe it was more his issue that theirs.  Yep, you guessed it, no second date.
  5. Finally, and this is more important than you may realize, guys, pick up the phone and call her the next day!  It won’t take long and she will appreciate it immensely.  Just give her a call and thank her for the nice time.   This is so very vital to women, fellows, and you should not underestimate the importance of it.  It’s easy, it’s quick and you can make good use of your drive time as well as a good first impression.