So, How Did You Two Meet?

People are always looking for new ways to meet members of the opposite sex, and the ways are boundless!!  Nowadays we have an endless supply of on-line sites that will hook us up with our soul mate for only a small fee.  I guess those work or they wouldn’t be so successful, but it is not something I would recommend to anyone.  As all my faithful readers are aware, I am decidedly “old school”.  So, from the old school, here are a few creative ways for meeting someone to whom you feel an attraction. 

I’m going to stay away from the old saws like “Do you come here often?”, “Can I buy you a drink?”, or  “You look a lot like my next boy/girlfriend!”,  because, face it guys and gals, these are really lame!!  Nope, I am going to concentrate on the un-traditional and quite creative approaches that, maybe, she/he hasn’t heard yet. 

A woman just told me that she met a guy because he bumped into her a couple of times as they were walking and then turned to apologise.  She isn’t sure if the bumping was intentional and frankly doesn’t care.  She met a nice guy and they hit it off!  If you try this approach, be careful!  Knocking someone on their butt is NOT going to turn out well.

You can take that one to the next level if you want, and gently tap bumpers with that sexy someone in a parking lot. Again, be careful as putting a big scratch on someone’s prized ride is not apt to get you a date but will probably get your insurance rates raised!

I don’t know if any men have ever tried this, but for the ladies, it is tried and true – drop something!  I doubt that many women carry hankies anymore, what with “the vapors” being a thing of the past, but drop a book, letter, bag, ball or whatever and any men in the vicinity will fall all over each other trying to be the one to pick it up for you.  It’s like opening jars, we just can’t resist helping a “damsel in distress.”   This will probably work for men, too, if you venture to try it.   After all, this is the age of women’s lib, ladies asking men for dates and equality of the sexes.

“Accidentally” leave a business card.  Don’t just hand it to someone or toss it on their table because that is just too self-centered and presumptuous.  Find a way to creatively “drop” it where the object of your desire can’t help but see it. For instance, at a restaurant or bar, if someone working there trips your trigger, leave it on the table with a note on the back for someone else.  Like “Fred, call me!” if you are a guy seeking a girl or “Linda, don’t forget the meeting!” if you are a gal after a guy. Guys don’t use a girl’s name and girls don’t use a guy’s or the person you are trying to attract  may think you are attached… off the market.   If they call you, it worked. If they don’t, you are only out a business card.

Be mannerly!  Especially you men!  My research has shown that women like men with manners.  Hold a door. Let her go first in the checkout line.  Take the shopping cart to the cart corral for her. Give her your seat!  Carry something heavy.  Get something off the high shelf.  And if she protests, simply tell her that your mother would never forgive you if you DIDN”T do it! 

And, finally, there is always the direct approach – stick out your hand and introduce yourself.  If you can get some eye contact first and your smile begats a smile from him/her, then walk right over and say “Hi, my name is Bob and I look a lot like your next boyfriend!”

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Do Women Want Chivalry To Die?

I recently asked some of my female friends to tell me what men do for them that they like.  I got a lot of interesting answers and one that was reversed – what they do NOT like men to do.  And that one was puzzling.  You see, this particular woman does not like men to pull the chair out for her when being seated at a restaurant, or where ever else she might be.

Please tell me readers, is this a common dislike among women?  Even though holding chairs is not something I do on a regular basis, the concept is confusing me. I just can’t seem to get my head wrapped around it.  Of course, I’m “Old School”.  I hold doors, not just for the woman I am with, but for total strangers.  I insist on carrying the heaviest bags.  I walk between a woman and the street to protect her from splashes from passing cars.  In a group, I walk behind so I can see everyone else and will know instantly if someone needs help of any kind.  In short, I’m protective of my loved ones and what I was taught as being mannerly to others.  Is this now considered a bad thing?

I wonder, is “Women’s Lib” killing chivalry?  Have women become so empowered that they see it as a sign of weakness if they allow a man do things for them that they can do for themselves if a man is not around?    Are guys like me looked upon as misogynist Neanderthals?  Geez, I sure hope not.

But this has spurred me to examine my motives.  Why DO I feel like I have to assist/protect women?  Well, it is just the way I was raised.  My father taught me to hold doors for others when I was a pre-teen. I can still remember him saying one day as I was hurrying ahead to get a door, “Skip can get the door.  He’s a good door holder.” And I remember how good it made me feel, a skinny little kid who knew it was a good thing to hold doors for others. And besides, my mother would never forgive me if I did NOT hold a door for a woman.  Or if I did NOT offer to carry something heavy for a woman, even a total stranger.  Or if I did NOT offer to get something off the top shelf at the grocery store for a woman who was struggling to reach it.  I would imagine that all the other men like me were raised the same way.

So please, if a man offers to do something like that for you, do not be offended.  It’s our parents’ fault.  And we silently thank them for it!