Over The Top or Just Really Romantic?

Just heard a romance story and I’m not sure how to take it. Is this guy just the most romantic man in the world or does he just have WAY too much time on his hands?


Seems this couple have been together four years and, to celebrate the anniversary, the guy buys 101 small boxes (they come flat and have to be folded into a box!! That’s 101 times he had to put a box together!!) and into each one he puts a piece of paper upon which he has written one of the “101 Reasons I Love You.” (Once again, that is 101 times he has to write something different on a small piece of paper, fold it, and put it in a box!)
Now folks, I love my wife dearly, with all my heart, but I’m not sure I could come up with 101 reasons!! I COULD come up with 101 things about her or things that she does that I love, but I’m not sure that is the same thing.  But maybe it is, because that seems to be what this guy wrote on the notes.
The lady did not open them all at once – 101 small boxes at one time? That could get boring! Instead, she is opening them a few at a time over several days. Or weeks, maybe. That seems like a good plan to me as it prolongs the romantic moment for as long as she has unopened boxes.
I’m really on the fence, here.  Part of me thinks it is romantic, but a BIGGER part of me thinks it is just kind of silly.  Soooooo,  I want to know what YOU think!! Was this a truly fantastic romantic gesture? Or was it just over the top lame?  All comments welcome!!  And thanks!!

Want To Get Your Ex Back? Why?!

I have been seeing lots and lots of ads and tweets from internet dating, marriage and relationship sites that all have the same theme –  “How to get your ex back.”  My instant reaction to this is “Why on earth would anyone WANT to?”  You are no longer together for a reason and it is  very, very doubtful that the reason no longer exists.  Get over it and move on!

I had a gut instinct, but still I looked it up and confirmed that marriages between ex-spouses(marrying the same person you divorced) have a much higher failure rate than first marriages.  And why wouldn’t they? Good grief, if you couldn’t make it work the first time, what makes you think you will be able to the second time?  And I don’t mean just marriages here, I am talking about any relationship that ends badly. Yes, every relationship has a fair share of great times, lots of good times, and some not-so-good times.  It is when the latter become more prevalent than the two former that relationships break up.  After a break-up, some people tend to get lonely and depressed and think they will forever be alone and no one else will ever love them so they blame the break-up on themselves, vow to be a better partner, start reminiscing about the great times and voila!  It is time to get back with the ex and to hell with all that really bad stuff that broke us up the first time.

Sorry, Pollyanna, but it doesn’t work that way.  Oh, I guess you could go to counselling and spent countless hours and countless dollars trying to fix everything about each other that drove you both crazy.  But you weren’t willing to go to that much work the first time so who really thinks they are going to be willing the second time?  Besides,  you could be spending that time meeting new people, new friends, new lovers and perhaps falling in love all over again with someone better suited to make you happy. And no, your ex was not “The ONE.”  In a world of 3 billion people there is way more than one compatible person with whom you could happily spend the rest of your life.  Go out and find one of them.

Not all relationships last forever, but all of them will be remembered forever,  remembered for the great times and the things we learned about ourselves, about love and about relating to another person. 

I guess my take on break-ups is this: At times it was fun and exciting and I will cherish the memories of those times forever because they helped me to grow into who I am today.  But it is over and it is time to move on and to put those things I learned into practice with someone else who I may or may not spend the rest of my life with but from whom I will again learn a lot about myself, about love and about relationships.  And again, it will be a lot of fun!!

 

Why Am I So Attracted To Her?

You see her across a crowded room, her eyes meet yours and the attraction is immediate and reciprocal. You are not aware of how you know this, you just do.

 He walks into your office and when you look up, you stop breathing and he stops blinking.  The two of you resume breathing and blinking at the same time.

 You are being naughty and gently kissing every bridesmaid when, with no warning, one of the kisses lights up your soul, and hers.  Her eyes are as wide as yours as the kiss ends.

She walks up to your table and asks what you would like to drink and when you look up into her face, you lose the power of speech.  As she walks back to the kitchen to get the iced tea that you finally managed to order with your barely working mouth, she looks back to see if you are watching her.  You are.

What makes these scenes happen?  Is it pheromones? Is it an energy or aura that surrounds us and attracts us to like energies or auras?  Or to opposite ones?  Is it just the way the other person is put together, the curve of their jaw, the brightness of their eyes or the shape of their face?  I firmly believe that no one knows!

For me, I am fairly certain that it is NOT looks. Like everyone else, these things have happened to me and the women involved did not look alike. 

Pheromones? Well, maybe.  There are people hawking pheromones all over the internet right now and they claim that the darn things work.  But can pheromones cross a crowded room, get blended with every one else’s pheromones, reach your nostrils and instruct your brain to look across the room at her at the exact same time YOUR pheromones are telling her to look at you?  I guess stranger things have happened but it seems like a long shot to me.

I have to go with auras/energies.  I think we all have one, an aura, that is composed of OUR energy that has a specific charge signature. And our charge is attracted to another specific energy signature generated by other people. And when two compatible auras touch, the connection to both parties is immediate and, somewhere in the deep recesses of our barely understood brains, a synapse fires that forces us, totally unconsciously, to react, to look. I know, I sound like Geordi LaForge.  But how often have we all commented about meeting someone for the first time that “it was just electric!”

In the end, though, I guess it doesn’t matter how it happens, only that it does.  To all of us.  And it sure is fun!!  Isn’t it?

OUT OF THE BLUE

You have all heard the stories about someone you know who found love, found a boy/girlfriend, or found a soul mate when they were not looking for one.  A lot of you can testify about it happening first hand.   At some time in our life, we have all given up temporarily on relationships for whatever reason (bad ending to the last one,  a succession of losers has turned us off to the opposite sex,  just don’t want another broken heart any time soon)  and turned our attention, our focus and our energy toward another aspect of life, usually work.  Things go along swimmingly for a while, our hard work is beginning to pay off, we are reveling in our independence, enjoying being single, when all of a sudden

                           WHAM!!!

 

IT HITS US LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!!  All of a sudden we find our heart racing!  Our palms sweaty! Our focus blurred!  No, NOT blurred, just completely and involuntarily re-focused from its former location to this person we have just met! That’s right, just met!  We date. We spend time together. We spend LOTS of time together. We can’t stop thinking about him/her! We can’t get enough of him/her! We can’t keep our hands off of him/her!! We HATE being apart from him/her! And it just keeps getting worse!

 AND IT IS GREAT!! IT IS FANTASTIC!! IT IS SCRUMPTIOUS, LUSCIOUS, DELICIOUS, DELIGHTFUL, DECADENT FUN!!!

And we all deserve it! More than once in our lives, we deserve it!  We have no idea how it happens, only that it does. As a new friend of mine just so lyrically put it, “it is as if I was a puzzle with a missing piece and the missing piece just fell into place.”  And we find ourselves gushing about him/her so much that our friends just smile and nod their heads knowingly, because they, too, have been through this before.

We have no idea how long this is going to last.  A few months.  A few years.   If we are one of the truly lucky ones, it will last a lifetime. But whatever the duration, we must enjoy every single moment and commit them to memory.  For if it does not last forever, it will still be a wonderful part of our life, a part we will carry with us forever. A part that, for better or worse, will help to shape us into that person we will ultimately become.  A part that we will look back on fondly and smile that deliciously devilish smile as we remember what a great time it was and how much fun we had and how much we learned about ourselves.

But if it does end, do we dive back into the dating pool hoping to catch lightening in a bottle again?  Some of us will dive back in and we will enjoy it, just as we did before.  But if it gets old again, and you decide again to opt out for a while, just don’t be surprised if one day, when you are least expecting it, that thunderbolt blindsides you again!!  As our Mother’s always told us, “you usually find love when you are NOT looking for it!”

3 Endearing Things Men Can Do For Women – Installment Two

One of my most popular blogs was “Five Endearing Things Men Can Do For Women”, so I have decided to post another one, albeit a little shorter! The one thing men have to keep in mind is that the effects of these fun, little things wear off after a while and you need to keep reassuring that beautiful and sexy lady of yours just how wonderful she is and just how much you think about her every day.  And really, when you get right down to it, when you do any of these or any that you come up with on your own (please share!!!!) all you are saying is that you were thinking of her and wanted to do something nice. Or, in shorter terms, that you LOVE her!

So here we go, three more little acts of love and affection that will make your woman smile!

  1. Leave her a note.  It doesn’t have to be long or poetic or mushy.  In fact, it SHOULD be short and sweet and to the point.  The fun part is deciding where to leave it – on the steering wheel of her car, in her favorite coffee cup, inside the ground coffee so she finds it when she starts to scoop, in her panty drawer, in her briefcase so she finds it at work, or a myriad of other spots.  What is also great about this is that you can repeat this as long as you hide it in a different place each time.  And each time she finds a note in a different spot from last time, it just gets more and more endearing. More and more cute. Who says being a one-trick pony is a bad thing?
  2. When you are out and about, especially in the morning, stop at a coffee shop and bring home her favorite.  My wife loves the “skinny vanilla latte” from Starbucks so I stop often for her. (She does the same and brings me my Chai latte)  But, and this is IMPORTANT, make sure you know exactly how she likes her coffee.  If you bring home caramel when she likes mocha you will be sending a real bad message – which is that you don’t know her as well as you should or that you just don’t pay the attention that you should.  So if you aren’t sure, be very observant the next time you both visit the coffee shop and commit her order to memory. Better yet, write it down. 
  3. Wash her car! This will be even more special to her if she is a woman who “loves” her car.  So if she drives a Jag or a Mustang convertible this will REALLY get you brownie points! But even if she just views it as transportation, trust me, she will appreciate it when you clean it up for her.

So try these things, guys.  Ladies, feel free to forward this link to any man you think might benefit. And I was serious up at the top, if you have some endearing acts that you love, please let me know in the comment section.  I may end up writing a book!!

Let The Guy Do What He Loves!

Today I am going to re-cycle the first post I ever made on this blog.  Time hasn’t diminished the story or the statement so I think it is still relevant to today’s audience.  Enjoy!!  Tommy

When I was in my early teens, I remember when our next door neighbor, Linda, was complaining to my mother about how much time her husband spent working on his race car and how he spent every Saturday night at the local drag strip racing it. Linda felt like Russ should be spending that time with her. She wanted him to fuss over her the way he fussed over his car. Being so young, I had no idea if Russ was paying enough attention to his wife, and I still don’t. I did know that Russ was fanatic about his car and had even built a bigger garage than the one that came attached to the house so he would have more room for the car and all the tools he needed to work on it. My mother didn’t know if he was giving Linda the proper attention either, I am guessing, because her advice to Linda did not address that issue at all. Mom was simple and straight forward with our neighbor as she said “Linda, Russ LOVES to work on and race his car. It makes him happy and he truly enjoys it. You need to realize that and stop complaining to him about it.” The incredulous look on Linda’s face I can still see today. She had fully expected my mom to agree with her that Russ should sell the car and spend more time with her. Mom continued “At least you know where he is, Linda. And you know he is doing something he loves. That beats NOT knowing where he is or what he is doing.” I don’t remember any more of the conversation. I may have become bored and gone out to play ball or ride my bike. But I do remember that, about a week later, Linda was again in our kitchen talking to mom when I heard her say “Midge, I have thought a lot about what you said last week about Russ and his car and I have decided that you are right! He DOES love working on and racing that car and I should let him do what he loves.”
At the time, I did not realize how smart my mother’s advice had been nor how insightful my mother was about men.  It was really just a way of life at our house that my dad hunted and fished and went to the sprint car races on ocassion and spent a lot of time restoring his old “32 Ford Coupe because those are the things he loved to do and mom never complained about any of it. In retrospect, I understand why my parents stayed together until death did them part, because they understood that they both enjoyed things the other did not and they never tried to deny one another the chance to do those things.
As a result, I have never understood why women would tell their man that they “couldn’t” play golf, go fishing, go to a baseball game or any thing else that he wanted to do. After all, she is his wife, not his mom. Women need to realize that by trying to deny a man something he loves, she is just driving him away from HER, not away from the activity he enjoys. When we get married, we are not giving up our individuality, we are just adding someone we love to the equation. As I look back at my life, I realize just how much my mother and father taught me about relationships without even trying. They just set a wonderful example that I have emulated without even knowing it.

 I think Kahil Gibran said it best “Stand together, but not too near together, for the oak and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”